1 Corinthians 7

As we consider Paul’s letters to the churches in Corinth, it is important for us to remember that Paul began this correspondence by giving sincere thanks to God for these churches. The fact that a church may be having some challenging divisions and some real confusion may just be a sign of life. It is best that we not kill the patient as we try to address the symptoms that cause us concern. An area that seems to be causing significant problems in Corinth is sexual immorality. In this chapter Paul turns his attention to a letter he has received from them. The questions they have concerning physical intimacy and marriage are the first ones he addresses.

Let’s also remember that Paul said in another place (Ephesians 5:3) that sexual immorality should not even be named in the church. Those in the church who may have been alarmed by the troubles they were experiencing in this area may have written their own extra-cautious prescription, which Paul perhaps quotes at the beginning of the chapter: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

Like many of the words that Paul quotes from their letter to him, it does contain some truth, but much more needs to be said. Paul is a celibate single man, yet as God uses Him in the writing of this letter, it is clear that the Lord is not enforcing a lifestyle of celibacy on the whole church or her ministers. That might sound extra-safe, but in reality, it is extra-foolish and extra-dangerous, since not many people have the gift of celibacy. Some have so little of that gift that it is highly recommended that they be married, lest they get into even more trouble.

The Bible affirms in many places, beginning in Genesis 2, that marriage is to be a very positive gift to men and woman, and that “is it not good for the man to be alone.” In the case of married people, they should not live as if they are celibate under some false pretension that this is the way to be more spiritual. Marital intimacy is part of the gift, and it is a powerful display of spiritual truth. Intimacy is always spiritual. The problem is that it is sometimes spiritually evil rather than spiritually righteous. Either way, intimacy is spiritual and not merely physical as people often assume. Married people should normally be close this way; unmarried people should not. Married people have a claim on their respective beloved; unmarried people do not.

There are some who have the gift of singleness. That allows them to focus more on kingdom work outside of their own household. The rest of us must do a lot of our kingdom work within our households; and that is as it should be, since we are married and have children. Marriage and children are great gifts from God, but those who can have contentment in the single life can do some good things that others will not have the time or energy to do.

The positive teaching of Scripture on marriage from Genesis 2 forward is simple enough: one man and one woman until death parts the two that the Lord has made one. Yet under the sun, many things are not simple. Sin adds complexity, and then we are reacting; trying to redefine righteousness when every option has problems. Married people should be together for life. They should not separate from each other. But what if they do? Then they should remain unmarried, unless there is a way to be reconciled to each other at some point. But what if there is adultery involved, or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse, or what if the spouse remarries; then what? The church leaders should be involved and should try to evaluate out the specifics of each relationship. For some, the single life may be the only way for them for the rest of their lives. For others, a new marriage may be the right course, but not too quickly. The loss of the first marriage must be grieved, or another loss will follow quickly upon the heels of the first.

Whatever is decided in specific cases should be done to the glory of God, with the goal of preserving and encouraging the holiness of the entire family, even if a spouse is not in the faith. Another principle that is worthy of serious weight is to avoid unsettling changes. Stay as you are if you can do so. We imagine that changes in relationships are going to solve all of our problems, and they simply do not. More often than not, they only further unsettle us and our families. Is it so bad to remain single in the case where a man finds himself single? Is it so bad to stay married if a woman is married to a less than perfect man? Don’t forget that your decisions on these matters have an impact on your children and on the church as a whole.

Particularly during times of intense persecution, people should lean towards remaining in the single life if they can honor God that way. A single man can do much. The king of the church did not need a special person beside him at night in order to make his life complete. He gave all of His attention to the securing of the greatest relationship of intimacy that will ever exist, the joyous union of the Son of God with His holy bride, the church. Every other marriage and every other life of celibacy in the kingdom must ultimately give way to this one great relationship. To treat that final marriage, for which Christ gave His life, as if it is a much smaller thing than the troubles of our few years here below is a great folly. Sad people sometimes make impatient and unwise choices. Don’t rush off trying to fix your life by a new relationship with some new man or woman without first considering whether the one marriage that you need the most is that holy union of the Son of God and His radiant and beloved bride. That marriage is already yours if you are in Christ. Regardless of whether you are married or single, regardless of whether you are deeply delighted or horribly disappointed with the way that things have turned out in your own household, the love of Christ for His bride can be your greatest delight now and forever.