1 Timothy 5

The Lord's messenger needs an awareness of the people he serves. Are you working with an older man who may be new to the faith? You cannot treat him like a child. You need to talk to him with respect. God has placed us within families. One of the many benefits of that life of community is that we have some understanding, however excellent or unfortunate, of what it is like for a son to live with a father. Timothy has a father. There is some indication that he did not share the faith of Timothy's mother and grandmother. Nonetheless, Timothy knew how to talk to his father with respect, as a superior. These kinds of societal conventions are not ignored in the church, but embraced and followed, provided that they do not contradict the Word of God.

This rule is important in dealing with all kinds of people. Do you understand something of what it is to have a mother, and brothers and sisters? If so, let this knowledge help you in maintaining pure relationships with people in the church.

This appreciation of common sense cultural norms is so important for those who will be leading the church. Family structures are not to be dismantled just because people have come to faith in Christ. As an example, children and grandchildren need to remember their responsibility to their elders when their parents and grandparents become destitute. If a family simply cannot help, then the church may consider stepping in as an expression of the Lord's special care for His beloved household. That does not mean that every destitute person in the church should necessarily be put on the list of those who are supported by the contributions of God's people. Is a widow (or someone else in great need) truly alone? Is she devout and known for her service of others? Or is she a person who is lazy, and who is trying to take advantage of the generosity of others? Above all, if there are family members who can be the first line of support they should do so. People understand that kind of duty outside of the church, and when we come to see the truth of Christ's death for sinners, there is no reason to assume that we need to forget standards of societal decency and expect others to pay for our poor and needy relatives. To ignore these family bonds is to be worse than an unbeliever.

There is an important principle here that goes beyond money. Coming to faith in Christ should not mean the elimination of normal family duties, Others in our circle may not want to be associated with us, but for our part, we should be very aware of the needs of our loved ones, and treat them in accord with that good title. They are loved ones. Government support, and disassociated family bonds through too much moving away can make these sorts of situations more complex. If it is still possible in a world where choice is king, and where it is so normal for family members to choose to be too far away from one another to help, leaving so many with too few ties of affection and duty, we might try to recapture what we can of the Lord's design of family and community in our own lives. In the absence of that, many people are going to feel very alone in the day of their troubles.

We do have a sense from these verses that Paul and Timothy's world is a different one than ours, and I suspect that heaven is a different world from ours as well, where the joy of special ties in the Lord's household are not eliminated, but are celebrated. Perhaps that might explain why in Jeremiah, the Lord says to “Rachel... weeping for her children... because they are no more.... There is a hope for your future,... and your children shall come back to their own country.” I wonder what that means?

In any case, there is a clear indication in Paul's instructions to Timothy that the church should not be too quickly considered a complete family replacement, giving to new Christians too convenient an excuse to abandon those whom God has given them in the bonds of family affection. No, the Christian church should pursue the same kind of commendable character qualities that we would like to see from our spiritual leaders (see chapter 3). We should all be diligent in our work, maintaining a good report within our families and communities. When we do worse than unbelievers in living and working with our own households, we open the door to accusations against the faith that really are slanderous, since some will assume that our laziness, selfishness, and rudeness to our relatives must be a result of our following Christ.

Particularly those who serve as elders, and especially those elders who are being supported by the church so that they can devote themselves to preaching and teaching, have a special responsibility to set the standard in showing forth the love of Christ in our family lives. While we should not entertain accusations against our leading men without some reasonable testimonies of sin, when our elders do betray Christ and the faith by the way that they live, they should not be treated as privileged men of power who are allowed to hide their abusive patterns. The Father of our heavenly household has shown His abiding commitment to holiness and love in the cross of Christ. We must be those who imitate this life of love and blessing with holiness, so that we bring no disgrace upon the one Name by which we have been saved.